Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
