as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I wish i was in the wii world.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
