i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
