did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
