Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
