im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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