you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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