I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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