We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
