super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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