How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
