So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
