OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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