I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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