i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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