When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
