how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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