Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
