saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
