i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize