If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize