hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I think I just shit out all my problems.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
