Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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