thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
