Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
