Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The uberlube is also flammable
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
