Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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