hell yes lets make some ravioli
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
So many bounce houses so little time
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
