Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
