Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
