Do you still have your period?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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