sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
These tits shall not be calmed
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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