Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
