shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
