I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
