I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
