The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
