My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
