Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
