My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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