I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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