yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Randomize
