Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize