What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
