All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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