Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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