he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
