I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
