did you get engaged???
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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