so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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