idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
