just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
