Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
3 2 1 whiskey
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
