I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
