Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
