you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
