There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
