hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
