If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
