This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize