dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
