I accidentally burped into my bong.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
