she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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